Fathers & Sons

Sure, we love our parents, but no one wants to be compared to them — especially when it’s not a compliment. Marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein says that starting a conversation with this phrase comes off as critical, judgmental and possibly insulting to your partner. She suggests spinning it differently if you want him to actually hear you. “If he’s passive aggressive and that’s how his father acts, take the comparison out — it leaves you stuck in negativity.” Instead, tackle the problem outright by saying something like, “It would really help me if you could be more direct about what you’re talking about.” The key is asking for a desired behavior, not heaping on the blame.

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